Conversation with Self

Alter ego: So how you doing ? I see you are sulking. That means we are going to have beer today !!!!

Me: Yeah.

Alter ego: Man you do have a lot of problems. But I think a lot of your problems are because you have got this one dimensional view of the world, like a horse.

Me: (getting angry) What do you mean One dimensional ? I can see things in three dimensions without any visual aid.

Alter ego: Ha Ha Ha...I am not talking about physical view stupid. I am talking about the mental view that you have of this world in your mind. For example, you loved this girl who probably doesn't gives damn about you, and now you have formed this mental opinion that all the girls in the world are like her only.

Me: (evading eye contact) I never said that.

Alter ego: Of course you never said that, but you think that way. See, the world is not black and white as you believe. There are shades of grey, and whole lot of colours. You want to see the world in black and white because its makes your lifes easier, its easy to make a opinion based on the premise that there are only good and bad people in the world. Which is not true, everybody has something good and bad in them. Like in this girl's case, you declare your love one day and when she doesn't reciprocates you declare her to be evil. Why?? Maybe she never saw you that way, maybe all her gesture that you took for love were only meant to be casual. You cann't blame someone else for your lack of judgement.

Me: (Still looking down) I don't blame anyone. I only blame myself.

Alter ego: That's another problem with you. Cann't you forgive yourself? Don't be so cruel on yourself. Its good to be ambitious, but not at your own cost. See, if you miss some goal that you have set for yourself, there is no point kicking yourself. Try to find the find the reasons for it, and if you missed it due to some reason beyond your control, forget it. Learn to forgive, including yourself.

Me: Why do I end up doing everything, including other people tasks also?

Alter ego: The problem is this false aura of invincibility that you have created about you. There is nothing wrong in saying that you cann't do a task. If you don't say, then people will assume that you can do it. You have created a stereotype image of your self and you are scared to break it.

Me: Scared of whom?

Alter ego: Scared of the change!! You are scared that what people will think if you change yourself. Though you may not admit it you are scared.

Me: (smiling) I think you have been reading Deepak Chopra et al, without my knowledge.

Alter ego: No I haven't . I am within you. You just have look inside and you would find all the answers that you are looking for. So, beer cancelled ?

Me: No, But now it would be for a different reason.

Celebrating Foolishness

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.


I have great faith in fools - self-confidence, my friends call it. Ever wondered why there is a day for fools and none for so called wise...Well for a person who lives from 1st April to 1st April , I tried to think. Actually 1st April is meant to remind people(like me?) that there is no point trying to act wise whole year because at the end of the year they remain what they were at the begining. So, why not acknowledge this fact and live happily.

Ever imagined a world without fools ? Scary thought eh...Right from the fool who first took fire in his hands , despite told being told by the wise not to do so, fools have changed the world.
But still being called a fool is not a good proposition after all. So we have a day dedicated to fools , so that all who know know deep down there that they are fools , but dont acknowledge it may act naturally at least for one day.

He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks.

Anyway I dont know if there is anything worst than being a fool and not knowing it.

And if you are wondering why this fool is writing this post one day in advance, because he is taking a day off to celebrate April fools day.

Happy April fool..

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

Dating Hell

This is a true story so please dont laugh.

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through 20 minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom.

After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again.

So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the bathroom. They enjoy the rest of the appetizers without interruption, but he has to go back again during the entrees. They decide to get dessert. During dessert, our hero feels another rumbling, but doesn't want to look like complete bathroom freak, so he holds it. After a few minutes, the rumbling subsides, but he still has a bit of gas stored up. He decides to let this little bit of gas fly right there at the table (discreetly, of course). Unfortunately, this little bit of gas came with another little surprise. "Oh crap," he thinks (and feels). Instead of running to the bathroom right away, our hero immediately leans on the arms of his chair to keep from sitting on this surprise. He maintains this yoga position for the rest of dessert, trying to figure out what to do before his tan pants (a) start to smell, or (b) start to show stains on the outside.

He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the restaurant. Oh, by the way,he is walking like a cowboy. On the way to the train station, they pass the Gap. "Do you mind if I run in and buy a sweater that I was looking at last week?" he asks. "No problem, I'd like to look around too," she replies. They go into the Gap. Fortunately, at the Gap, men's fashions are on the right, women's fashions are on the left.

They split up. Our hero grabs the first sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis. After selecting a pair that most closely resemble his current outfit, he brings both items to the register.

His eyes are on his date (still on the other side of the store) to make sure that she doesn't see him buying the pants. He doesn't even want the sweater, so he says through clenched teeth (just in case his date can read lips from 40 feet away) "Just the pants." What?" asks the Gap girl. "Just the pants!" (Eyes still trained on his date.) Gap girl: "Oh, OK." He pays for the pants and walks over to his date, then they leave the store. They board the train just before it leaves the station and find two seats in the middle of the car. Without sitting down, our hero excuses himself and walks to the bathroom in the back of the car. He gets to the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly rips off his pants and boxer shorts. He rolls them into a ball and throws them out the window. After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap bag and pulls out... just the sweater.

To Alice

Do not say my love was
A ring or a bracelet.
My love is a siege,
Is the daring and headstrong.
Who, searching sail out to their death.

Do not say my love was
A moon.
My love is a burst of sparks.